Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
