If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
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