come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
