you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
