OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize
