If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
