I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
