Will you blow on my dice?
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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