Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Randomize
