Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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