If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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