I just cut my nipple shaving
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
