Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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