I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
