Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
