I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
