Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Your penis caused this!
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