okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
