paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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