yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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