Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
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