You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
