Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
