I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
