he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
