There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
