i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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