She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
