RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
