I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
You are a booty call, not a friend.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
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