It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
