Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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