I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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