tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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