would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
