it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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