I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Randomize
