It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
