dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
