i permit you to call me
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
