is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
