the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
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