you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
