that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
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