The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
