I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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