Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
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