There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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