i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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