this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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