do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
