Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
tell me about the eggs
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
