Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
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