Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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