just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
