Farmville is her only friend.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
That accounts for only three of the penises
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
