Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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