ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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