i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Randomize
