I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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