Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
